anythingbutthenovel, dumb (poems), writing

Crush Collage

Over the years, I’ve had a series of fantasy crushes. Like love poems I share with dear ones, they’re tinged with longing for something. In the spirit of avoiding a photo collage of my cat, here’s a collage of snippets from such a period of my life.

Fall in love and tell me all about them. Get engaged. Get married. Live happily ever after. I want an invitation to witness a good life. I’ll beam every minute. This wasn’t my first go at any of this and I won’t be sad long.

our sadness
every time
the sun came

Terrified and broken is a requirement.

we stare deep
eyes wide
take the train
to the end of the world:
and snow

Be madly in love with me and all I need. I want to hear you knock on my door tomorrow so we can discuss our value systems and how we negotiate navigating every comittment.

you in the tub
me writing
long days & nights
sitting on the floor
stacking what matters
here and there
somewhere our story
a melody in the room

looking for a consistent narrative / something to capture all this conflict / i find grey

What if love languages are just how we should be approaching communication? If the spectrum of polyamory is loving everyone with higher intent? Everyone was right about my spots.

Each answer terrifies and breaks me.

The question isn’t “love?” it’s “in love?”

a bouquet of
roses left in
my memory:

how much of us was me projecting. how much of this was you trying to believe.

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